sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
