there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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