The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
