AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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