you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize