Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
