I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
