I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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