How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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