she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
