first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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