I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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