you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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