it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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