My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
