i was born a porn star she said
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
