just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
