He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
