maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I want her autograph on my taint
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
