i can't believe i had my finger in that
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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