i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How's work?
Spinning.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
