You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
