You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
