can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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