I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
