You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
