Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
