oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
