yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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