are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
