you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize