My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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