i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
