Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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