I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
