dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
