If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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