I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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