Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
