can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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