Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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