4 words: hood of his car
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
