Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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