Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
