Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
