10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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