she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
