i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
