using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
