Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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