it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
