You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
