OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
