Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
