I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
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