Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
