some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
