So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
