Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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