when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
