he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just had sex on a roof
Randomize
