What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
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